im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Damn victory sex feels great
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
