so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
