get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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