Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
