i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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