No awkward lesbian experiences without me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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