He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
