Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
