i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My cat gives me a boner
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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