Do you still have your period?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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