its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
