No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize