I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
