he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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