hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize