she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
