I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
