I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
