I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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