So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize