You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
