Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
