who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize