I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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