I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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