Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ketchup is God's man juice
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
