I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
