yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
tell me about the fingering
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
