Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
