Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
