I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
