I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
