I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Everyone says I win the strip club
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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