he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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