I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
