super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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