Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
