He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Send help, water and tortillas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Panties = found
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
