If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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