Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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