If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my sisters under your porch take her home
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
