I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
