remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
