we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
