im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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