Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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