Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
