girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
