I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
