She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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