If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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