never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
