Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
