Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The adults are the big ones right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
