its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
