are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
