Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
