I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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