addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize