i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And then my night got REAL pukey
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
