i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
