she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
