two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
