i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
