hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
